Try

I'm not really in any mood to blog but I'm going to try. It's the kind of try when your about to leave for a trip and you try to use the bathroom. You're not super stoked on the idea but you do it anyways. That's how I feel about blogging right now...

This week has been challenging and I'm not fond of challenging weeks. I'm trying to get better at this whole Sensaria thing and it has taken me out of my comfort zone BIG TIME! I'm the worst about worrying what people will think of me so it's been extra uncomfortable picking up the phone to call and ask people to host parties. I think the products are great and I'm a devoted customer myself so what's the big deal, right? I just don't want people to think I'm being annoying. Even if annoying is paying the bills...

On another bad note, I had my IUD put in today and it was painful. I was just recently diagnosed with Polycystic Ovary Syndrome and the IUD was put in place to protect the lining of my uterus to keep it from becoming hyperplastic. Having PCSO means that conceiving will be a lot tougher, if not impossible for me and Justin. At first I was okay with everything because having a baby is something we haven't started to think about. The last couple of days however, I have found myself going back and forth. I'm happy that we don't have to worry about any "surprises" right now, or for the next 5 years (while the IUD is in place), but what about when we do want to have children? What will happen then? I know that God hasn't given me a heart for adoption for nothing but what happens when my maternal instincts kick in and my biological clock starts ticking? I've been trying not to think about it because I can get pretty worked up if I do. I guess like most things we will just have to cross that bridge when we get there.

BLAH! I hate being so negative. I'm just in a crummy little mood, aren't I?