Hard

So from the last post you can see that God has been moving. Things have been shifting.

But as much as things have been shifting and God has been moving I still find my self not trusting.

It's been hard to be still.

Yesterday when I was cleaning the house I found the electric bill. The amount owed was a HUGE chunk of change. I felt the worry well up inside of me. The night ended with me crying at the feet of the Lord. I didn't know how it was going to get paid. (and partly because YouTube wasn't working and I really wanted to hear Desert Song by Brooke Fraser.)

About lunch time today the electric bill made it's way to the front of my mind. I called my dad and told him to get the full amount so we could start figuring out how we were going to pay it. 10 minutes later his number appeared on the caller ID at work. My heart sank and I felt like I was going to throw up. He said it wasn't good. The bill was $14.88...(Yes, my father will make a joke at any moment. I love him for it.)

Whoa! HOLD THE PHONE! Fourteen HUNDRED dollars?!

No.

$14.88

I stayed in my doubt. I dwelled there. Even after professing how God moved three days before.

..."Lord I believe; help my unbelief!"
Mark 9:24